Practical stoicism - 10 steps

The word "stoic" in English language that means 'a person who can endure pain or hardship without showing their feelings or complaining'. However, stoicism (from which the word ‘stoic’ has come about), teaches development of self-control and fortitude as a means to overcome destructive emotions. Everyone thinks of happiness in a different way. The Greek work Eudaimonia can be translated to happiness at a broad level. But what it means is Living in accordance with nature, and stoic believe in this happiness rather than the more superficial one. And how do we get there? Stoicism offers a path to that happiness. It is one of the few philosophies that can actually be applied to daily life pretty easily. Here’s are some practical exercises –

1. Physical discomfort – Any of form physical discomfort is good for you. Running, exercising, going for a walk, waking up early, taking the stairs instead of elevator, etc. or any other such discomfort will make your body enjoy the comfort more. You will appreciate it more. You will feel thankful for all the comforting things you have with you.

2. Mental discomfort – Resist things like video games, procrastination, watching porn, etc. on a regular basis. There could be many more such things. It increases your capacity to have control on your own emotions and action and also makes you appreciate them more.

3. Social discomfort – Do something discomforting socially e.g. Go out people you haven’t gone earlier. Meet new people. Go to a new place. Wear a different T shirt instead of normal ones that you wear. Do something out of your comfort zone socially. It may end up in you getting stares and comments from your friends and people around you. But it will increase your confidence tremendously if you can pull it off!

4. Forgiving people – No one makes a bad decision or a mistake on purpose. At some point in their lives or in fact at many points in their lives, everyone makes a mistake. So, we need to learn to forgive people for it. Tell yourself that the other person messed up, so what? You’d too sometime or the other. Forgiving others for their mistakes will make you hurt less when you commit a mistake yourself.

5. Training to stay calm – This works over time. We need to develop this habit. Sometimes people say nasty things or nasty things happen around us, but we cannot control them. What we can control is how we react to them. So, we should learn to react with calmness instead of getting angry or frustrated because none of that will help. They will only put us on a downward spiral. This is applicable even if we mess up ourselves. Learn it. Practice it.

6. Detaching ourselves – We need to learn to detach ourselves from everything that is not real. But at the same time, be grateful for what we have. There are so many regular pleasures that we get used to. We need to detach ourselves from them, so we can concentrate on what is real and natural for us. We can fast once a week or stay away from our favourite food for a month. Stay away from social media regularly. Sleep on ground instead of the bed occasionally. Practicing this helps in increased appreciation of and lower hurt from things around us.

7. Giving in – to pain and sickness. Pain and sickness is natural. Embrace it as a teacher. Learn from it. Accept that is happens to everyone. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to cure a disease or remove the cause of pain. What it means is, accepting it for what it is – a natural phenomenon.

8. Accept life – as it is. Focus on reality. We can’t change everything. We can’t control everything around us. It could be weather or a job situation or anything for that matter. Don’t resist reality. Check if something is in your control or not. If it’s not, then don’t be thinking about it. Just accept and move to things you can change and control. That way, we spend more energy and time on things where you can make a difference.

9. Use role models – Ask yourself, what your role model would do, your father or any other person you consider your role model, in a situation. Not everyone can do everything perfectly. But looking at or imagining what a role model would do, helps us in taking the right steps and act in the right way.

9. Reflect – on your day and check what out of the 9 things you did today. This will help in keeping up the motivation to do it. Keep a journal and write it down every day. It’s ok if you mess up sometime but be honest about it. When you write down the journal, you will focus on the important activities and important feelings of the day. That helps not only in developing a habit but also in learning about our own selves.