The road less traveled

I was reading an interview of Maninder Singh, the Indian spinner from the 80s, in the morning. I had always wondered what happened to him and why he disappeared all of a sudden from the cricket scene. It is a good interview to read to know the struggle of a prodigy to do something he wanted to try, go against his parents wishes, getting success, falling into a downward spiral of depression and failures, alcoholism, complete breakdown and eventually getting up and becoming more 'normal' and living a happy life. Full interview here.

Now this is what one might call a not-a-normal life. He had chosen a path that most people will not pick - sports, even though he was great at studies. Going forward also he always had choices to make and he probably kept making the choices that were what a 'normal' person may not make. He basically chose the 'road less traveled'. There are many examples of successes of people who took the less trodden paths - Mark Zuckerberg, Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Baba Amte, Prakash Amte, and many many more. Most of us will be awed by these legends and their work. 

Robert Frost wrote beautifully about the choices we have to make throughout our lives and how he

chose the road less traveled and that made all the difference, in his famous poem 'The road not taken'. On the face of it, the poem seems to suggest that the protagonist's life is great (in future) and the reason for that was his decision to take the less trodden path (this is not my analysis; it's what many poetry experts have suggested). However, I think that's not what Frost wanted to write. He had two roads in front of him and both of them were more or less the same. One of them looked better than the other only because of all the grass on it. So he chose that, but later on realised that it's not all that different from the first one. Later he would say that his life is good because he took the road less traveled. Here's where I think the issue is. There is no way of knowing where he would haven been in life had he taken the other path (especially since he saw that both of them were more or less the same). It is quite possible that he would be at the same good place in life or maybe a better place had he taken the other path. However, he wants to believe that what he is, is because of the decision to take the less trodden path. Herein lies a problem.

Humans have this innate obstinate need to feel different, to feel unique. A need to feel that no one else does or has done what they have. No one else has faced the kind of life that they have. That they have taken decisions and lived life in a very special way that no one else has. That they have taken the road less traveled. But is that road really that different from the others? Yes, every person and his/her surroundings and choices that they get in life, is different from the others. But if you look closely, there are so many who have a more or less similar life and similar choices in front of them. There are very few people who actually take the less trodden path - even though almost everyone thinks that they have done it. And that path is not for everyone - that's precisely why it's less trodden. Not everyone can handle the path well. That's what Maninder's story tells us.

'The road less traveled' may be romantic and alluring, but that doesn't mean that you HAVE to take it. Everyone has different abilities, strength and will. When faced with a choice, the decision needs to be made, not based on the allure but based on what is right for you. Sometimes the choice could be a path that has been traveled on for ages by many many people before you, but that doesn't mean that it is the wrong path. Choosing that doesn't make you any less special. It just makes you more prudent. It doesn't mean that you should never take the other road - it solely depends on you and what is right for you. It can be argued that this is a defeatist mentality or that you will never know what your 'limits' are. And that is why, even before you make a choice, you need to first understand yourself. Self realization is the key to making the right choices - otherwise you will keep getting swayed by factors that should have nothing to do with your choices. Only when you know yourself, can you decide what is right for you and what will make you happy.

Remember that for you to be happy, it's not about choosing the road less traveled, it's about how you travel the road you choose.