The link with the dead

 I was talking to a friend, who happens to be a Muslim, about death and he was telling about his experience when he buried his father's body many years ago. It is the a practice among the Muslims to bury the dead body (everyone knows it, of course). There are two ways in which it is buried - one option is to bury and then build a tomb with a tombstone on it, and the second option is to bury it in the ground in such a way that you don't know where exactly the body is buried. The second option is more prevalent in places where there is less space and they can not expand the cemetery. The first option is also there in Christians. In Parsi community, they keep the body on top of a tall tower where the vultures or other birds can eat the body away - this is another way of giving it back to nature. In Hindus, the body is burnt and the ashes are strewn across the sea or in the river. I may be wrong about some specifics about some of the things, but that is not the point.

It got me thinking, however, on how the different methods affect the ones who are left behind - the kids, the spouses, friends, other relatives. Knowing that the body is buried at a particular place - means that you will always have it in your mind. So every year or every day or whenever you feel like, you will want to go there and feel sad about it - with full knowledge that the body of your loved one is right there, a few feet under the ground. The body may have decomposed but there is some small part which is still there. However, if the body is cremated/burnt and ashes thrown away or if the body has been kept for the birds to eat away - that means there remains no connection with the dead. 

Which of the two is a better way to deal with the loss? Does not having a physical connection with the dead through the tomb make it easier to deal with the loss? or having that connection, that tomb, as a place to grieve make it easier to deal with it?

I don't know what is better or worse, but did get me thinking about it. Every religion has its own ways, its own methods, owns traditions. It's not about the religion. I am thinking purely from human perspective.

I personally would think that getting it over with, without any physical link remaining, would make it comparatively easier. However, thinking from the other angle, maybe having that physical place or link means that all of your feeling of sadness/loss etc. has one specific place to grieve whenever you want. That possibly makes it easier to get through life. 

Just something that occurred to me. Thought of sharing.

What do you think?